Words cannot
possibly do justice to describing Dad…but here are a few that
come to mind:
Patient
Quiet
Kind
Honest
Dedicated
Generous
Strong
Capable
Easy-going
Unpretentious
Loving
Caring
Authentic
Dad never
complained
Dad never
gossiped
He rarely
displayed anger or lost his cool with anyone
His pleasures
were simple
Dad lived his
life peacefully…and that’s exactly the way he left this life
Dad modeled
the ideal of what being a man, a husband, and a father truly is.
Dad, a simple
a human being, was also an extraordinary human being.
Let me share
a little about Joel Simon:
Dad was born
in NY in 1928.
He had a
depth of love and respect for both of his parents throughout his
life.
When I
questioned Dad about his childhood, one memory that surfaced was
that of a summer spent working on a farm far away from home when
he was fourteen years old. He earned a pittance (was it a
dollar a week, Dad? Forgive me… I can’t remember). But I do
remember that Dad said he brought almost his entire earnings
home to help out his parents during those hard post-depression
times.
Dad always
(and I do not use that word casually) put others first.
His ego was
small. And his heart was enormous.
He cared
deeply for, and took care of, those he loved.
Particularly
the love of his life…Mom.
Dad joined
the army in his late teens, and was honorably discharged in
1947.
He was, and
continued to be, throughout his life, extremely proud to have
served his country.
While in the
service, he was stationed in the Aleutian Islands, and it was
here where dad first learned to hunt …and for decades this
became one of his greatest pleasures in life. Being one with
nature in the wilderness.
During the
time dad was in the service, his family moved from NY to Los
Angeles.
One evening
in 1947, not long after being discharged, dad and his army
buddy, Fink stopped in a drug store/soda fountain, and it was
there that dad first met mom.
As the story
goes, Dad and Fink, saw two dames all dolled up in stockings,
heels, dresses, and hats. They decided that these two broads
(mom and her sister Shirley), dressed as they were, had to be
from NY.
Dad was
nineteen at that time and mom was seventeen.
Dad knew
right away that this woman, Evelyn, was the love of his life.
The one thing
Dad wanted most his entire life starting with the moment he met
Mom…and right up to the end…was for Mom to be happy. There
wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her.
Mom; however,
was a little bit hard-to-get when they first started dating.
She went back
to her roots in NY to choose between Dad and an old boyfriend
she had left behind.
Dad wrote her
two letters every day (there were two mail deliveries a day back
then).
And he played
pinochle nightly with mom’s dad as he patiently waited for mom
to make a decision.
Mom, how wise
you were to choose dad.
They were
married in august 1948.
He
affectionately called her “Babe” – When I was little, I used to
think my mom’s name was “Babe”.
Dad was 20
and Mom was 18 when they married.
Both my
brother and I were born by the time they were 22 and 24 years
old.
Their early
years were challenged with financial hardship from having
nothing but a mattress to sleep on to scraping money together
for food and rent while they found work wherever they could.
But dad was a
provider….and he worked hard at whatever he did.
This is a
value he passed on to bob and to me.
Thank you
Dad.
We lived in
City Terrace when Bob and I were little (about three and four
years old), One story from that time in our lives was about how
dad was quick-thinking and saved the day for me and Bob….saved
our lives is more accurate:
I was sitting
on the curb in front of our rented house, and Dad was outside
too. Bob had managed to climb into Dad’s pick up truck and
released the emergency break. As the truck began to roll
towards me, Dad grabbed me to move me out of the way to prevent
the truck from running over my legs …and then chased the truck
with Bob in it as it was heading downhill (we lived on a hill
overlooking a freeway embankment).
He got to the
truck in time and after safely depositing Bob and I back in the
house sat down shaking, turning ashen white and put his head
between his legs to prevent himself from passing out.
Thanks
dad…for always being there for us.
By this time,
Dad had started what became a lifelong career as a builder. He
learned and became skillful at pouring foundations, framing
homes, and was capable of building a house from the ground up.
Which is exactly what he did for our family.
Dad moved us
from City Terrace to Desert Hot Springs in 1956.
And here,
still a kid himself in his 20s, Dad built the Melody Kitchen
Apartments…and the adjacent home we would live in for the next
eight years (my friend Karen texted me the other day saying,
“your dad really loved you…who else names a building after their
daughter?”)
Here are some
memories from our years in Desert Hot Springs:
Dad
welcoming our grandfather (mom’s dad who he called “Pop”) to
live in our home… he loved him and took care of him as if my
grandfather were his own dad.
Dad
taking us on countless trips to the mountains in our camper
Dad
making homemade french fries, his famous tacos (the recipe
that has lived on all these decades), the most outrageous
potato kugel on the planet, latkes grated by hand, and
frying up fresh trout that he caught
Dad
patiently pulling cactus thorns, with tweezers, out of mine
and Bob’s tushies
Dad
teaching me and Bob how to swim, ride a bike, catch fish,
and bowl (mom and dad were on bowling leagues together for
decades)
Dad
singing completely off-key
Dad
whistling (on-key)
Dad
teaching Bob and I to fold socks with military precision
Dad
falling asleep and snoring at the dinner table at the end of
the meal (he was up most of his working life at 4:00 am.)
Here’s a
story Dad’s brother, my Uncle Norm, shared with us last week
that tells you a little bit about the kind of man Dad was: While
Dad was doing some framing work when we lived in the desert, one
of the guys on the jobsite was down and out and couldn’t make
his rent check. It was payday (I believe they were paid in
cash), and dad handed his pay over to this man. Dad would
literally give someone the shirt off his back.
The truth is,
“things” never mattered much to dad.
People
mattered much more.
And the
person who always mattered most to Dad, of course, was Mom.
Dad moved us
back to LA in 1964
At a time
when many construction businesses went under in the 60s, Dad was
once again in a position of difficulty in providing for his
family.
But Dad
stayed strong.
With help
from my Uncle Harold, my parents were able to purchase a home in
Monterey Park, and here Dad started a construction business
called Corner Construction. He did this from the ground up
beginning with distributing flyers—the first job he sold was a
window installation that he did in the pouring rain somewhere in
the Valley.
This business
slowly grew from referrals and Dad experienced a measure of
success, but financial success really never mattered all that
much to our dad.
Dad could
have lived in a cabin in the woods his whole life and would have
been content. Success for him seemed to be all about living a
decent life.
And as long
as that life was shared with Mom.
During the
Monterey Park years, when Bob and I were teenagers, Dad was
still up at 4:00 in the morning working hard. He was in his
early 40s at this time.
Both Bob and
I began working in the office (which was our garage) with Dad.
I did some bookkeeping and Dad began teaching Bob what he knew
best: the construction trade. It was during this time that Dad
endured the loss of his beloved mom, our Grandma Anna.
Once again,
Dad and Mom demonstrated their true colors and immediately
brought Grandpa into our home to live where he shared a tiny
bedroom with Bob while Dad built a space attached to our garage
for Grandpa to live in.
Bob and Dad
had a most remarkable and unique relationship. During the time
Dad was in the hospital last winter and spring, Bob shared with
me that our Dad was much more than a father to him. He was his
best friend his entire life. They worked together in
partnership for decades, they hunted and fished together for
decades, and they always had each other’s backs.
Mom and Dad
moved to Palm Desert during their golden years…and these seemed
to be some of their happiest and most content years. He and Mom
were able to travel, join clubs in Sun City, go to shows, and
form many deep and lasting friendships. Here Dad took up tennis
and fell head over heals with the game, spent hours soaking in
his hot tub, played cards, and enjoyed a weekly huevos rancheros
breakfast with friends at his favorite Mexican restaurant.
Nothing made
Dad happier than being with family. Mom, Bob, and I felt his
love always, as did our spouses.
He loved
mom’s entire family (her parents, her siblings, their spouses,
and their children) as his own family.
And oh how he
adored his grandchildren:
Matt, Anna,
Danny, Greg, and Sam….you were each the light of his life. You
brought him more joy than you can possibly imagine--especially
when we were all together playing his favorite card game,
“May-I”. You five are his legacy.
And
thankfully, Dad even had the opportunity to hold his
great-grandchildren Emma and Gavin in his arms near the end of
his life.
This final
year of Dad’s life, he once again demonstrated his love for
Mom. After five months in three hospitals and two nursing
homes, Dad garnered the strength and determination to get well
enough to come home to mom at The Regency where we moved them
once Dad had become ill. And although he came home with
physical challenges, he spent his final five months once again
being the:
Patient
Quiet
Kind
Honest
Dedicated
Generous
Strong
Capable
Easy-going
Unpretentious
Loving
Caring
And Authentic
Man that he
always was.
Dad made me,
Bob, and Mom feel loved, protected, and safe-- always.
He was strong
and gentle at the same time
Everyone who
knew Dad loved him: his co-workers and employees, his friends,
his caregiver, and his family.
No love;
however, can quite compare to what Dad and Mom felt for each
other throughout their 67 years of marriage. Nothing comes close
to that.
Dad, we will
never forget you…you are truly unforgettable.
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This Man
Anna's Eulogy